You Got It Bad
by kerrbear7
Summary: Sometimes the person you're not supposed to love, ends up being the person you love the most. JEMMA!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing Degrassi...**

**So here's the first chapter. I know it's short, but the next chapter will be longer and a give a little more background info. (Most of this story will be based on Jay.)**

Jay woke with a start, staring up at his all white ceiling, sweat dripping onto his brow, breathing erratic.

"What the hell was that?" he asked himself out loud. 

He lifted the black sheets, staring down his fired up body, and sighed heavily, dropping the sheet. _Great, another cold shower start to the day!_ This made four mornings in a row and Jay was growing tired of his own dreams, especially since they had taken a drastic turn as of late.

His alarm clock rang, another shock to Jay's system. He banged the Snooze button and laid back down, eyes wide open, staring blankly ahead. What was wrong with him to be having the exact same dream every night like this? He thought back to what he had done prior to going to bed the night before. _Man, I gotta stop drinking!_

JAY'S DREAM

_Jay got out of his car slowly, walking around to the front, so he could lean against the hood, along with Cameron and Alex. He removed his hat, turned it around, and placed it backwards onto his head. His dark tinted sunglasses in place, Jay was ready to scope out the views. Probably the best thing about the races, after the cars of course, were the women. The tiny tops and short skirts..._

_Jay saw the legs first. Long, smooth, slender legs that seemed to go on forever. He followed the legs up until he hit a short skirt. Up higher and he got a peek of a flat stomach and sexy navel. Higher took Jay to a whole new level of seduction...luscious, full breasts, cleavage peeking out from a low cut top. All Jay needed to complete the package was the face of an angel._

_And that's where things in Jay's dream took a drastic turn...the face of an angel? The face of Emma Nelson!_

_She strutted toward him as if with a purpose, and all Jay could do was stare, his mouth hanging open, unable to believe such a sight belonged to his nemesis._

"_Jay Hogart," she drawled, ignoring the other two people, leaning against the side of his car. "Good summer?"_

"_Apparently not as good as your's," he smirked._

_She raised an eyebrow. "We can always work it out so that your summer ends well. Interested?"_

"_You even need to ask?" _

_Jay's eyes followed Emma as she sauntered to the driver's side door of his car, opening it, flipping the seat forward, and giving him one last appealing look before hopping into the back. Jay looked around, realizing that all of the other people had disappeared. Suddenly they were no longer surrounded by cars. They were in a hotel room, Emma sprawled across the bed, wearing a black, lacy bra and panties set. She was propped up on pillows, her long legs stretched out in front of her, her feet crossed at the ankles. _

"_Emma?" he asked, looking around, shaking his head and trying to figure out just what was happening._

"_Come here, Hogart," she said, huskily, crooking her index finger, summoning him to the bed. "This is your lucky day."_

_As Jay made his way onto the bed, Emma reached out for him. But before they could touch, Jay woke up..._

END OF JAY'S DREAM

Hearing his alarm blare its second warning, Jay turned it off, getting out of the bed. He stretched, grabbed a towel, and made his way into his bathroom. Here goes another day...

**Hope you like it! Let me know what you think...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

Jay swung the black and grey backpack over his right shoulder, lowering his sunglasses to stare ahead at the entrance to Degrassi Community School. He frowned. He couldn't believe he was back here, of all places, for another year of torture under the constant watch of Hatzilakos! 

FLASHBACK

"_Well I can't say that I'm not surprised to see that you've actually completed the required credits for entry into the grade 12 program here," Ms. Hatzilakos commented dryly, looking over Jay's transcripts. She put the papers down and looked at Jay, her expression unreadable. "You were a real problem here, even before the whole Rick incident. What would make it different this time?"_

_Jay knew that she was expecting some kind of kiss-ass answer, but if he was going to do this, it had to be on his own terms. "I'm never going to be Toby Isaacs or Liberty VanZandt. All I can say is that I don't wanna end up some bum working at a minimum wage job for the rest of my life. I need a grade 12 diploma."_

_She raised an eyebrow. "I see that the attitude still hasn't changed. Look, I want to be completely up front with you here, Jayson. You need to pull it together if you want to stay here. No grades lower than a B-, and zero problems. Understood?"_

END OF FLASHBACK

"Never thought you'd be back here, huh?" came a voice behind Jay.

Jay swung around and smiled at his best friend, Sean. "If telekinesis were real, Degrassi would be burning right now! I can't believe I'm back here, man. What was I thinking?"

"I can't believe Hatzilakos let you back in!" came an all-too-familiar voice. "I guess the state of Degrassi really has gone downhill since Raditch!"

Jay found himself unable to even look at Emma, as she strolled up, hugging Sean, and kissing his cheek. After the series of erotic dreams he'd been having, Jay wasn't sure that the sight of her wouldn't cause his body to betray him once again. But here she was, her sarcasm in high gear, and Jay had to get used to the idea that now that Sean was back in town (and living at his place), Emma would be along for the ride.

"Is he okay?" Emma asked Sean, her arm around his waist, as she stared at Jay. "By now there would have been some kind of sarcastic comeback."

Sean laughed, watching Jay closely. He'd never seen Jay look so flush. "I think he's a little overwhelmed by this whole back in school thing. Let's try to be nice."

Emma sighed and slung her other arm casually around Jay's shoulder. He jumped from her touch, causing Emma to shoot him a curious look. She raised her arms in surrender, promising, "I come in peace, Hogart. Now that you and I are going to be classmates, I promise to try very hard to tolerate you."

Jay realized that both Sean and Emma were staring at him, and knew that he had to react as he usually would or they would both know that something was up. 

Jay wrapped his arm around Emma's waist and pulled her close to his side. "Nelson, Nelson, Nelson. Your attraction to me is becoming obvious. Now normally I wouldn't object, but seeing as how you're supposed to be all in love with Cameron here, I think we should cool it. Now when things hit the skids with you and Seany boy, well then, you know who to call."

Emma made a face at him, but swung her arm back around Jay's shoulders, freely hugging both Sean and Jay, two best friends, as the trio walked into the main entrance of the school.

**Sorry for the short chapter. The next one will be longer and have a bit more Jemma action!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. It kind of sets the stage for some pivotal relationships...**

Jay spent his first morning back at Degrassi avoiding the judgemental stares of not only his fellow classmates, but also of the majority of his teachers. Kwan had already warned Jay that her expectations for him would be high and she would basically be riding his ass the entire time. Anderson told him that he better stay on top of every unit if he hoped to walk away with a B-. _Great! Even my teachers think I'm an idiot! Why am I here again?_

Jay found Lexi in the cafeteria at lunch, and joined her, swinging his backpack onto the tabletop. 

"Good morning?" she asked, taking a bite of her sandwich.

He raised an eyebrow and dug around until he found his own sandwich. Lexi gave him a questioning look and he smiled. "Saving money by brown baggin' it."

"Money for?" she asked, looking up and scowling as Sean, Emma, and Manny joined their small table.

"College," Jay muttered.

Manny burst into laughter. "They have college for criminals?"

He turned to Manny Santos, not able to believe they were classmates now, and shot her a deadly glare. "Yeah. It's right beside Slut Academy!"

Emma put up her hands, one in front of Manny, one in front of Jay. "Calm down you two. Jay, Manny is not a slut. Manny, Jay can't help it if he's learning-challenged."

Everyone at the table snickered and Jay suddenly realized that he was a joke. Even Emma-give-everyone-a-chance-Nelson knew this. Normally this didn't bother Jay, but now that he was here, trying to better himself, it really hit home. _Maybe I should just quit and go back to the garage full time. At least people respect me there._

Alex, Sean, and Manny continued on with their lunches, chatting about teachers and assignments, and about some of their friends. Jay munched on his sandwich silently, staring off into space. Emma stared at Jay, wondering what had changed about him. Normally he would have bitten her head off for that last comment, some sarcastic whip coming out to knick Emma and put her back into her place. But Jay had said nothing and the look on his face, what was that? It almost looked like hurt.

"Emma?" Sean's voice questioned, breaking through her thoughts. "What's your next class?"

Emma shook her head and dug around in her bag until she found her schedule. She frowned. "Chemistry. Manny, please tell me you're with me?"

Manny shrugged. "Sorry, Em. I have Kwan and English. Trust me, if I could, I'd trade you places in a heartbeat."

"Looks like we have Chemistry, Nelson," Jay drawled, meeting her eyes. "Better sit far away from me though, what with my being, what was that? Learning-challenged?"

Emma smiled at him, warmly, feeling badly about his reaction to her earlier quip. She wrinkled her nose at him, and he thought she'd never looked cuter. Jay couldn't help but smile back. "Don't be so serious, Hogart. It's just the first day and what kind of friends would we be if we didn't take the obvious jabs? They'll faze out and you and I will be back to ignoring each other in no time!"

"A man can dream," Jay answered, smirking at her.

Sean, Emma, and Manny got up from the table, saying their goodbyes, and leaving Alex and Jay on their own. Jay felt his shoulders relax and his breathing return to normal as Emma walked away. He looked up and saw that Alex was staring at him, an amused look on her face.

"What?"

Alex continued to smile, as if she had some kind of secret. "You okay there, Jay? Kind of seems like you're a little out of sorts this morning."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"What was that passing back and forth between you and Cause Girl?"

Jay coughed, almost sending his milk across the table at his friend. "Huh?"

Alex shrugged, but continued her sneaky smile. "I guess I was wrong."

Jay watched her get up from the table and saunter away. He put his head down on the table and banged it twice, hoping to knock himself out of this misery. No such luck! Jay picked up his stuff, got up from the table, and walked out of the cafeteria, secretly wishing his afternoon would fly by and he wouldn't have to listen to another teacher berate him in front of another set of kids who despised him.

**Next chapter is totally Jemma and something dawns on Jay that will strike fear in his heart!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, except for the mean, snivelling Mr. Liam...**

**Enjoy! **

Jay walked into the Science laboratory, preparing himself for another bit of embarrassment. But he was pleasantly surprised to see a brand new Chemistry teacher and allowed himself to dream that he would be starting over with a clean slate, at least in this one class. No such luck.

During roll call, the new Science teacher, Mr. Liam, called Jay's name. He raised his hand slowly, as Mr. Liam peered over the rims of his glasses, glaring at Jay. "You haven't been in school for a while, have you, Mr. Hogart?"

Jay sighed. "No."

"Well just so you know, Chemistry is no auto. Lots of reading. Tests. Projects. Weekly experiments. No messing around will be tolerated."

Jay nodded his head, eyes rolling back in his head. "Got it."

"Excuse me?" Mr. Liam asked.

"I said got it," Jay replied, voice filled with agitation.

"That would be, got it...sir," he emphasized. 

"Got it...sir."

Mr. Liam turned his back to the class, walking back to the front of the class. "I will not tolerate disrespect in my class. Understood, Mr. Hogart?"

"Perfectly...sir."

"You know, Mr. Hogart, if you don't plan to take this course seriously, I would suggest looking elsewhere for your credit." 

Jay held his breath, reminding himself not to lose his cool or it would come back to bite him in the ass. He was already under strict watch by Hatzilakos, and disrespecting a teacher could possibly get him kicked out. Kicked out in the first week of school? Then he'd really be a loser.

"Mr. Hogart?" Mr. Liam pushed, eyeing Jay.

Emma sat on her stool watching the scene unfold. No matter how much she disliked Jay and his antics, no one deserved what was happening to him. This teacher, who knew nothing about Jay, was harassing him, almost provoking him to react in a negative way. But Emma had to give it to Jay. He was keeping his cool. By the twitching in his left eye, Emma knew that Jay's composure was close to cracking.

"Sir?" Emma asked, raising her hand.

"Yes, Miss Nelson?" the teacher asked, turning his attention away from Jay.

"Could we, like, get on with it?" she asked.

Mr. Liam's eyes narrowed. Emma had hit a nerve. "Get on with what, Miss Nelson?"

Emma's eyes met Jay's, momentarily, before she looked back to Mr. Liam. "Chemistry? I mean, we are here for Chemistry, right?"

Mr. Liam smiled, however the gesture was anything but friendly. His smile had a sinister look to it that made every person in that room shrink down in fear. "Miss Nelson. You're the crusader of the school, aren't you?"

"I don't think that has anything to do with Chemistry."

"Who we are, Miss Nelson, affects every aspect of our lives. Coming to the defence of Mr. Hogart? Well, Mr. Hogart, aren't you lucky? Your very own army."

Jay opened his mouth to tell this guy where he could put his army, when he was interrupted by Emma's voice, kicked into high gear, her back up and ready to fight. "Mr. Liam! I suggest that instead of judging each and every student in this class based on what some obviously misguided teacher has told you, you should finish taking attendance and get on with teaching us some Chemistry. Because if things are going to continue the way they're going now, I think I'll be skipping this class for Ms. Hatzilakos' office!"

Jay's eyes grew large, but he couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face. He looked over at the teacher, whose eyes had squinted, probably wishing he could crush Emma with that simple motion. But, instead of continuing with his banter, he turned back to the roll call, finishing up in record time. The classroom remained silent, except for the intermittent 'here' heard by each student as his or her name was called.

When roll call was completed, Mr. Liam told the class that the majority of their marks would be based on weekly experiments and their subsequent write-ups. This would require lab partners, which he would assign. He went about the class, pairing off students. When he came to Emma, he grinned down at her, and said pointedly, "You think you can help Mr. Hogart so much? By all means, Miss Nelson. He's your responsibility from now until the end of the year. Say hello to your new lab partner, Mr. Hogart. Enjoy!"

Jay met Emma's eyes and offered a weak smile. He picked up his binder and textbook, walking over to join Emma at her table. He sat down on the stool beside her and whispered, "I don't need someone else to fight my battles."

"It was uncalled for behaviour for a teacher," she hissed, keeping her eyes focused on the front of the classroom, where Mr. Liam had begun to write something down on the blackboard behind him. She took out her binder, flipping to a fresh sheet of lined paper, and began writing. "You should be writing this down!"

"I am!" Jay hissed back. 

Emma looked over and realized that Jay was scrawling in his own binder. She tried not to smile, but found it hard not to. Jay Hogart was not only paying attention, he was actually actively participating. Shocking!

By the end of class, Jay's head was swimming. Liam was going to be a pain in the ass! He was one of those annoying teachers that believe their class is the be all and end all of each student's education. Daily readings with discussion questions, weekly experiments and write-ups, tests, projects, and exams! Jay closed his binder and banged his head on it.

"It's not that bad," Emma soothed, packing her stuff into her bag. "He's just trying to spook everyone, especially you."

Jay lifted his head and stared at Emma. "Why does every teacher in this school hate me so much?"

Emma cocked her head. "Do you even have to ask? I mean, you were the reason why Rick shot Jimmy."

Jay's hand shot to Emma's mouth, covering it quickly. He glared at her. "Don't say that out loud! I've got enough trouble in case you haven't noticed!"

Emma peeled Jay's warm hand from her face and shoved him. "Like there's a single person at Degrassi who doesn't know that you and Spinner were behind the whole thing? Please! Besides, it will blow over. Just keep your cool, stay out of trouble, and try to be a model student."

"Would you listen to what you just said? I can keep my cool and I can even stay out of trouble if I put my mind to it, but me a model student? Now who's deluded?" Jay asked, standing up and stretching. He leaned over Emma's shoulder and whispered, "Every teacher here is out for me. I've got a target the size of the whole school on my back. No matter how hard I try, short of acing every class, no teacher will ever make it possible for me to be a model student. I'll leave that one to you."

Emma watched Jay leave the classroom, and felt something like sympathy for him. She chased after him, finally catching up and taking his arm. "I can help you."

Jay cocked an eyebrow and looked down at her hand on his arm. An image of her in those black panties and bra shot through his brain. A slow smile spread across his face. "Help me?"

"At least in Chemistry."

Jay walked over to the side of the hallway, away from the eyes of curious passersby wondering why Emma Nelson would even be talking to someone like Jay Hogart. "Why would you want to help me? I'm not some kind of charity case, Greenpeace."

"I never said you were. It's just that Mr. Liam, the sorry excuse for a teacher, had no right to talk to you, or me, like that. Don't you want to show him that no matter what he throws at you, you can take it?" Emma asked, determination embedded into her sudden smile.

Jay slouched against the wall. "I don't care what that teacher or anyone else thinks of me."

"Okay. So forget it then."

Emma started to turn away, but Jay stopped her with a light grip on her wrist. "Why do you want to help someone like me, Nelson?"

"You and Sean are best friends. Sean's living at your house. To say that you're going to be a part of my life is an understatement. I just thought it's about time to bury the proverbial hatchet."

Jay turned around, showing Emma his back. "Isn't this where you'd rather bury that hatchet?"

"If you're not interested, then fine."

Jay saw that Emma was being sincere and his icy heart melted just a bit. He stared into her eyes. She stared back into his. And suddenly Jay felt like he finally understood the saying, time stood still. What the hell was happening? Jay was beginning to feel hot under the collar and knew he had to get away from this girl before she read his thoughts; his nasty, naughty thoughts.

"Whatever, Nelson!" he quipped. "You wanna make me your little project for the year, fine by me! See ya!"

Jay walked away, telling himself that Emma Nelson was nothing special. Fear crept into his being when he realized that he was lying to himself; Emma Nelson could never be nothing, but, _holy shit!_, she could certainly become everything!

**Could Jay be feeling something more than lust for Emma? Where will this lead?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Sorry it's taken so long to get another chapter in. I got busy and then got a bout of writer's block! I hope you enjoy.**

"This is hopeless and pointless and useless and..." Jay yelled, letting his voice trail off until it was no more.

Emma had held true to her word and began to tutor Jay in Chemistry. But her patience was wearing thin. The thing was, Jay wasn't stupid. Just the opposite actually; Jay was quite intelligent, when he put his mind to it and applied himself. And he had made much progress, but one couldn't expect miracles.

"You're doing fine. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself," Emma advised, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. She sighed. Jay had thrown himself back onto her bed, where the two were sprawled out with their textbooks and notes. "The trick is to find some kind of memory device to help you remember everything."

Jay lifted his head momentarily, looking at Emma like she'd just sprouted another head. "I don't care if I have the best memory in the world! I'm never gonna remember every element on this table!"

It was actually all Toby's fault. And JT. Those two boneheads, being the clowns they are, insulted Mr. Liam's last lesson. His revenge? A test on the periodic table where any and all elements were fair game. Damn Toby and JT!

"If I kill Isaacs or Yorke, would we still have to have this stupid test?" Jay asked, squinting his eyes and smiling slightly.

Emma rolled her eyes at him. "Can we stay focused?"

"Think about it. They die. There'd be a funeral. We'd miss class and Mr. Liam would cancel the whole thing. Works for everyone."

"Except JT and Toby," Emma pointed out. "Besides, you don't have it in you."

Jay sat up, giving Emma an incredulous look. "You don't think so?"

She shook her head. "I don't."

"Why the hell not?" Jay began to worry that he was losing his edge.

"I saw you chatting with JT in the hall the other day. And I saw you grab a book from a top shelf in the library and hand it to Liberty. And then there's the obvious...you were in the library. Face it, Hogart, you're becoming a softy," Emma teased.

"Jay Hogart is not a softy."

"Whatever you say," she said absently chewing the end of her pencil as she studied the chart in front of her.

Jay laid there, quietly assessing his life, wondering if what Emma was saying was true. He had talked to JT the other day, exchanging snide comments about Mr. Liam and his in-class antics. And he had grabbed a book for Liberty when he saw her struggling with the high shelf. He'd been in the library himself to get a book for an English assignment. _Okay, it's official! I'm becoming a loser!_

Emma looked over at Jay, who was staring at her ceiling like it held the answers to every mysterious question in the universe. She laid down next to him, staring up as well, trying to figure out what was up with Jay.

"I don't see anything exciting," she commented dryly.

"Huh?"

"You've been staring at the ceiling for the last ten minutes, lost in thought. You okay? Suffering from burnout?"

Jay realized that Emma's right side was lightly brushing up against his left, and they were lying next to each other on her bed. Dangerous territory for the sleep-deprived, lust-driven Jay.

FLASHBACK

"_Jay? If you get this answer right, I'll take off any piece of clothing you want," Emma taunted, raising an inviting eyebrow._

_Jay licked his lips and tried to concentrate on the question scrawled in white chalk across the blackboard in front of him. But the harder he concentrated, the more jumbled the letters became. He looked over at Emma, perched on the end of Mr. Liam's desk, short skirt, thigh-high hose, black high heels. He swallowed._

"_Pay attention, Jay!" she sang, crossing her legs. "Focus on the question."_

_Jay closed his eyes. When he reopened them, the question in front of him read, What part of Emma's body do you want to see first? Jay looked around the science lab, realizing that everyone else had disappeared. Emma had hopped down from her perch and was now strutting toward him, the click of her high heels matching the quick beat of Jay's heart._

"_Well Jay?" she pushed, leaning across his desk, her cleavage heaving in front of him. "What's it gonna be?"_

_Jay closed his eyes again. They flew open feeling Emma begin to straddle him. And just as they were about to kiss, Jay's eyes fluttered open._

END OF FLASHBACK

Jay been suffering from sleep deprivation and probably hypothermia, given his cold-shower mornings. He was plagued by these sultry dreams of Emma and found just being around her on an everyday basis to be bittersweet. _Maybe if I could just have my way with her in one of these stupid dreams, I'd get it all out of my system._ But no such luck. They never even got to kiss. Jay always woke before the good stuff!

"Earth to Jay!" Emma called, waving her hand in front of his face.

Jay, finally returning to the present, grabbed Emma's hand. He meant to put it down, back to her side. He lowered it, but couldn't find the strength to let it go. So he held it. They laid there, together, holding hands and staring at the rafters in Emma's makeshift room.

"Are you okay?" Emma finally asked, interrupting their comfortable cocoon of silence.

"Yeah. Why?"

"You seem different lately," she whispered. "Like you've lost some of the fire you used to have."

"Oh, you mean I'm not so much of an asshole anymore?" he asked, half in jest, half in earnest.

Emma turned her head to look at Jay. He continued staring straight up. "You're not so much of an asshole anymore. That's good. But I'm talking about something else. You're usually so upbeat. What's up with you lately?"

Jay swallowed, wanting more than anything to let Emma into his realm of secrets, but knowing that he couldn't. He turned his head, looking into her eyes, and smirked. "It's you, Nelson. I just can't be me when I'm around you."

He meant it to come out as a joke, but the second the words were uttered, he realized just how they sounded. Emma's facial expression changed immediately, worrying Jay. Suddenly she was rubbing his thumb with hers and Jay remembered that they were still holding hands. _What the hell am I doing? I'm laying here, with Cameron's girlfriend, with my sworn enemy, holding hands. I gotta change this around and fast!_

"You got me all walking on eggshells, Nelson. Worrying about playing my stereo too loud, or stepping on some endangered insect, or using a curse word and getting the old Greenpeace-eye. You really have a way of rubbing me the wrong way, Nelson!" he muttered.

"I wouldn't rub you any way, Hogart," Emma retaliated, detaching herself from Jay.

Jay sat up and got to his knees, putting on his best smirk for her. His eyebrow shot up and Emma noticed that his eyes once again carried that mischievous sparkle. "Now why must you tell lies, Nelson?"

Emma glared at him. She shot out her leg and kicked him in the arm. "You're crude! And an asshole!"

Jay laughed, grabbing Emma's foot and tickling its underside mercilessly. Emma wiggled around, trying to kick Jay away with her other foot, while squealing and laughing like a child. Jay realized that he was close to getting booted off the bed and onto the hard cement floor, so he got to his knees, crawled over to Emma, straddling her legs and pinning her arms to her sides. He continued to tickle her, this time focusing on her lean, and quite toned, stomach.

The two were laughing and caught up in their private fun, when Jay looked up and saw Sean standing by the bed, staring down at the two of them with an unimpressed look.

Jay got off of Emma, off the bed, gathered his books, and headed for the stairs. "Your girlfriend's killing me, Cameron! See ya at home! Later Nelson!" he called, heading up the stairs.

Emma sat up and smoothed her top. "Study, Hogart! And no more murderous plots, okay?"

Jay waved his hand and disappeared up the stairs. He was at the door to the main floor when he stopped. He knew he shouldn't, but he listened to the conversation between Emma and Sean, wondering what his friend would think of what he'd just walked in on, and how Emma would explain it all.

"So that was studying?" Sean asked.

Emma smiled at him, rising to her knees and crawling over to the edge of the bed. She put her arms around Sean's waist, squeezing him to her chest. "Sounds like you're a little jealous."

"Should I be?"

Jay heard Emma laugh and shook his head. "Me and Jay? Please! You're lucky you didn't just walk in and see us strangling each other. It was a toss-up!"

Jay smirked. "I think I'd rather see that than the two of you on top of each other!"

"You're just wishing it was you on top of me," Emma flirted. Sean gave her a crooked smile, leaning forward and kissing her wildly. "It could be...if you play your cards right."

Jay opened the door to the basement quietly, not wanting to hear any more of what was about to occur between Sean and Emma.

**Hope you like! Please R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...except for Mr. Liam.**

Jay found Emma standing in the hall, her back to him, long blond hair, slightly curled, trailing down her back. He'd recognize her anywhere. It was a tossup between what was more noticeable; the long legs or the long, blond tresses. Either way, secure in the fact that it was her, Jay strutted up to Emma, hugging her from behind, lifting her off the ground.

"What the-!" she yelled.

Jay set her back down, swung her around, and shoved his Chemistry test in front of her face. Emma stared at the paper, taking it from Jay's hands to get a better look. She lowered it, peering over the test at Jay's smug, satisfied face. "How did you get this? We haven't got them back yet."

Jay smiled, ignoring Liberty, who was standing off to the side, letting Emma and Jay have their moment. "Does it matter? I aced it!"

"Eight-three is awesome, Jay," Emma congratulated with a smile. Her face became serious as she demanded, "Now tell me why you have your test when no one else has their's."

"I swiped it," he admitted, brazening, almost like he was challenging her to refute his confession. His serious face suddenly broke into a wide smile. "Mr. Liam gave it to me! He said he was impressed and may have 'misjudged my commitment to Chemistry'. What an idiot! But who the hell cares? I got an A!"

Jay picked Emma back up and swung her around. He placed her back on the ground, but kept his arms around her as he faced Liberty. "This is the greatest tutor in the world, VanZandt!"

Liberty smiled at Jay, never having seen him so lighthearted. "Congrats, Jay! Today Mr. Liam's Chemistry, tomorrow, Kwan's English!"

"Let's not get all carried away there, Libs!" Jay laughed.

Emma and Liberty stood, watching Jay walk away. They shook their heads and smiled at each other. "Who would ever have thought that Jay Hogart, Mr. Anti-School, would ever be that excited over an A?"

"Maybe it's the first one he's ever gotten," Liberty suggested. "But who cares about that? Can we please talk about how cute he is?"

Emma raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Should we warn JT?"

Liberty rolled her eyes. "My relationship with JT is secure. I just mean that Jay has always been cute, but this whole new image he's sporting? The whole bad boy going straight thing? It's downright sexy, Emma! Tell me you haven't noticed?"

Emma sighed, swinging her bag over her shoulder, waving bye to Liberty, and walking away. _Jay? Sexy? Maybe._ _I've never noticed._

**Sorry it's so short, but there are more coming...I promise! Hope you like!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...**

_Jay woke up, rubbing his eyes, and rolled over to see what time it was. Does that really say 3:08? In the morning? Shit!_

_Jay rolled out of bed, stumbling over the clothes on his floor, opening his bedroom door. He headed out into the hallway, eyes mere slits, as he strutted to the bathroom. He stopped when he heard Emma's voice._

"_How can you be turned on at three in the morning?" she asked. _

"_It's you!" Sean assured, nuzzling his lips into her neck. "Just being beside you gets me going."_

"_Remind me to turn down the next offer to SLEEP over, okay?" Emma murmured, burying her face into the soft pillow._

_Jay realized that Sean's door was slightly ajar. He peered inside, spotting Emma lying there, clad in a sheet, and probably nothing else. She was trying to return to her slumber, but Sean was practically on top of her, cajoling her into submission._

"_Okay, okay!" she hissed. "But let's make it snappy, okay?"_

_Jay smirked, hearing her comment. But Cameron wasn't fazed. He was...up...for the challenge. He rolled on top of Emma, and Jay told himself to move along. But that's when he saw Sean grab Emma's leg. She wrapped the slender, bare limb around Sean's back, letting out a husky moan. Jay swallowed._

_And that's when it happened..._

_Emma's face suddenly became visible, as Sean buried his in the pillow. Jay found himself unable to pull himself away from this peep show. Passion was written all over her face, as Emma gripped Sean's back and moaned lightly. Her eyes flew open and stared straight into Jay's._

_Jay stood, frozen, like a deer caught in the headlights. His brain told him to run back to his own room and pretend like this had never happened, but his body told him to hang in there just a little longer. Good thing Jay tended to listen to his body more than his brain._

_He continued to stare at Emma, who returned his looks, never stopping her movements or her moans of pleasure. She stared at Jay, licking her lips seductively, causing beads of sweat to break out on Jay's brow. He swiped his hand over his forehead and when he looked back, Emma was smiling. Is she smiling at me? Sure looks like she is. _

_Well if he was doubting the smile, he couldn't doubt the wink. That's right! Emma Nelson, completely in the throes of passion with Sean Cameron, was winking at Jay Hogart! _

_And before Jay knew what was happening, Sean was opening his bedroom door. He grinned at Jay, slapping him on the back. He walked to the bathroom, turning to say to Jay, "She's all yours man!"_

_Jay gave him an incredulous look, but he had walked into the bathroom. Moments later, Jay heard the shower start. He stood, frozen in the hallway. He approached Sean's door again, seeing Emma propped up against some pillows, covered to her breasts in the sheet. She looked up and saw Jay, crooking a finger and signalling for him to come inside._

_Not knowing just what he was doing, Jay pushed the door open, revealing the whole of Sean's significantly smaller, yet tidier room. But Jay could care less about hygiene or about space at this moment. The one thing he wanted the most was lying in Sean's bed, calling him to her, and Jay wasn't about to argue._

_He strutted over to the bed, pleased with how easy this situation was turning out to be. "You need something?" he asked._

"_How does you sound?" she asked, reaching up for him._

_He leaned down, wrapping his arms around her and..._

"IT'S 7:00, TORONTO! AND TO HELP YOU ALONG WITH THAT WAKE UP...HERE'S A LITTLE RIHANNA!!"

Jay groaned loudly, banging his alarm clock several times until it finally fell onto the floor. "What the fuck is happening with me?" Jay yelled.

A knock came on his bedroom door and Jay, still laying flat on his back, cursing his world for his unsatisfied dreams, screamed, "Not in the mood, Cameron!"

The door opened slightly and Emma poked her head into the room. Jay sat up quickly, covering the evidence of his unfulfilled passion with his comforter. He stared at her, standing in his doorway, Sean's t-shirt falling well above her knees, bare feet, hair messy, but still beautiful.

"Am I still dreaming?" he asked.

Emma smiled. "I don't think so. Unless you have dreams of me often," she joked.

Jay swallowed. "What the hell do you want?" he asked, trying to put an edge to his voice. "And why are you here this early?"

"I stayed here last night," she explained, walking further into his room. "I hope you don't mind. I mean, if it's not okay, you can tell me and I won't stay here anymore."

Jay, nervous that she kept walking toward him, pulled the comforter higher up his chest. "It's okay."

Emma smiled. "I've never been in here before. You always keep your door closed. It's nice in here, minus the obvious filth of course."

"Um, Nelson? You're in my room, because?"

"Oh, sorry! I wanted to know if it'd be okay for me to have a shower?"

Jay nodded his head, watching her walk out of his room, closing the door behind her. He flung himself back onto his bed, sighing heavily. Not only did he have to deal with unrequited dreams about a girl he could never have, but now he had to deal with the girl in person? How much more can a man take?

Jay waited until he heard the shower stop and the bathroom door open, before he rose from his bed, and made his way to the bathroom for his own shower. His body had cooled itself down, and Jay looked forward to actually having a warm shower this morning. But when he got to the bathroom, there stood Emma, clad only in a towel, brushing her long locks in front of the mirror.

"Sorry," Jay said immediately, turning to walk back to his room.

"It's okay. Sean has no mirror in his room. I'm done in here though," she said, gathering her stuff and smiling at Jay before sneaking by him and heading off to Sean's room.

Jay shut the door and leaned against it, banging his head in the process. He walked to the shower, flipping the cold water tap on full blast.

**I promise to update again, and sooner than before! How will Jay deal with his growing desire for Emma? Does Emma have feelings for Jay too? Where does Sean fit into all of this?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, but if I did, there'd be at least one Jemma scene this season!**

"You got a sec?" Jay asked, shuffling his feet and looking at his shoes.

Alex gave Jay a weird look, surprised to see him standing at her doorway. "Chad's not here."

Jay finally looked up, meeting Alex's eyes. She was shocked to see real emotion there, something similar to hurt. Was that possible? Jay was normally causing it, not feeling it. Alex opened the door further, allowing the sullen Jay entry. She motioned for him to sit down on the old, saggy couch, joining him there.

"So? To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked, trying not to sound too bitchy since her curiosity was definitely piqued. It had been ages since she and Jay had 'hung out'. Something had brought him here and it was probably big if Jay looked like he'd just lost his best friend.

"Are we alone?" he asked, eyes flashing to the kitchen.

Alex rolled her eyes and got to her feet. She pointed to the door. "Get out! I should have known!"

Jay shook his head. "I just wanted to make sure that we could talk privately. I know you're all into some kind of lesbian thing now. I get it, okay. I'm not here to pull anything. I swear. I just wanted to talk...like we used to."

Alex sighed and dropped back down to the couch. "Fine. What's on that twisted mind of your's?"

Jay smirked. Alex knew him better than anyone. They were a great match; too bad he cheated on her and she turned into a lesbian! The sky could have been the limit for a pair like these two. But Jay liked the fact that no matter what kind of crap he put her through, Alex always found a way to forgive him and still be there when he needed her.

"Okay, Jay," she said impatiently, interrupting his thoughts. "Let's get on with this. I'm meeting Carla later."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "Carla? No Paige?"

Alex shoved him lightly. "Paige and I have been over for months now, Jay! Carla's new. And nice. She's really awesome, so don't make fun, okay?"

Raising his hands in surrender, Jay smiled. "This is me, not making fun. I'm actually happy for you. It's cool that you were able to find someone to...you know...be yourself around...or whatever it is lesbians do."

"You have brief moments of humanity, Hogart. Followed by being a smart ass!"

"Gotta love me! So anyway, your mom and Chad are out?"

"Happy hour," Alex quipped, giving him a sarcastic smile. "Some things never change. Why are you so worried about someone else being here?"

"I have...a...problem. I need some advice."

"Okay. But if this has anything to do with some trampy girl, I want nothing to do with it, okay?"

Jay sighed. "I'd rather not name names. It's just that lately...there's sort of been this person of...interest. The thing is, she kind of...shouldn't be."

A look of realization flashed across Alex's face. As quickly as it appeared, it disappeared. The last thing Alex wanted was to scare Jay off. She couldn't believe he was even here, confessing this fact to her of all people. But then again, who else did he have to confide in?

"It's not like anything has happened...well not in real life anyway," he sighed. Alex gave him a questioning look, so he explained himself. "It's just that I've been having these damn dreams...like every night. I'm not sleeping because I always wake up before anything between us ever happens. It's just that when I'm around this person for real, I can't stop thinking about those freakin' dreams! So?"

Alex tried to suppress her laughter, but fight as she may, it came anyway. Her laughter burst forth, causing Jay to get to his feet in anger. Alex straightened her face, pulling Jay back down to the couch. "Okay. So what you're saying is that there's this person, who shall remain nameless, that you're normally not attracted to. But you've been having some pretty wild dreams about her...about this person. So now you're thinking that maybe there's more to this than just being a dream?"

Jay nodded his head slowly. "It's an impossible situation, Lexi. I know this. My brain might not always be on, but even a dumb ass would know that this could never and should never work. But there's this really big part of me that just wishes I could finish the dream, get it on with her, and get over all of this frustration!"

"She's unavailable, Jay," Alex warned. "In every sense of the word. She's your best friend's girlfriend."

Jay's eyes met hers. They were filled with sympathy for his current dilemma, but they were also filled with knowing; Lexi knew exactly who he was talking about.

"Does she know?" Alex asked. Jay shook his head, but paused through his action, face filled with pondering. "What?" she questioned. "What?"

"She doesn't know."

"Did something happen between you two?"

"No," Jay whispered, remembering the night they had lain on Emma's bed, holding hands and talking. When he thought about it hard enough, he could almost feel her thumb rubbing up against his. Such a small action, but filled with so much temptation. "Not exactly."

Alex sighed heavily. "You have to stop this, Jay. Emma and Sean are like, some kind of epic love story. That won't ever end. Even when they're apart, they're not apart. He's her first love, he's probably the first guy she's ever gone to bed with, and he saved her life. Do I need to go on? Because I can if I need to."

"You can stop!" Jay yelled. "I'm not into her. I just can't shake these stupid dreams. And she's always around, pushing herself into my life as if I want her there! The other day, I wake up two seconds from blast off – if you know what I mean – and she just walks into my bedroom! Wearing nothing but a t-shirt! And then I go to have a shower and she's standing in the bathroom...in a towel! So how the hell am I supposed to tell my over-stimulated, under-satisfied body to resist?"

Alex leaned back, hugging her knees close to her chest. "You need to get laid!"

Jay raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Are you offering?"

She grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him with full force. It smacked him in the face and Alex hoped it would knock sense back into his body. "Why aren't you dating? You're always dating...or one-night-standing! Something!"

Jay laughed. He shrugged and thought about Lexi's question. Why wasn't he dating? Jay was never short on women, but he'd been experiencing a bit of a dry spell lately and he couldn't figure out why.

"I think you may be on to something here, Lexi. What I need is a distraction! Another lovely to fill my head with dirty fantasies instead of shameful, unfulfilled ones. You, are wonderful!" he announced, getting up from the couch, and kissing Alex on the cheek.

Alex watched Jay walk out of her apartment, his steps seeming a bit lighter. She shook her head as she shut the door, leaning back against it. She sighed and bit into her bottom lip. This was about to get a whole lot more complicated before it got any better, and Alex just hoped that Jay would be able to walk away with very little pain. Doubtful!

A slow smile spread across her flawless face. It was hard to believe, but it was possible! Maybe this was all more than just a little fantasy. Maybe... Nah! But it was possible... _Jay Hogart, I think you may just be in love!_ She chuckled to herself as she walked to her bedroom, wondering if Jay's heart could handle all of this, knowing that it was more fragile than anyone knew.

**Hope you like! I hope the relationship between Jay and Alex is believable. I think that these two would remain friends since they do have a lot in common. Let me know what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**I skipped ahead a bit, but everything is explained in the first few paragraphs. Enjoy!**

The first three months of school went by so quickly, Christmas was upon everyone in no time. And with the changing seasons, came beginnings for some and endings for others.

Sean shocked everyone with his announcement; he was leaving Degrassi and heading on to greener pastures. "It's just not working out," he told everyone when he broke the news. Degrassi may have brought about positive changes in Alex and even Jay, but it only added headaches to Sean's already complicated life. He couldn't keep his marks up and with the way things were going, college for Sean would be a far stretch at best.

So, without anyone's knowledge, Sean enlisted with the armed forces and was called for duty right after New Year's. He'd broken the news to Emma over Christmas, making the holiday less than ideal and very stressful. Every time they were together, a fight would break out, Emma would cry, and Sean would leave in a frustrated mood. But they vowed to make things work, as best as they could, despite the long distance and virtual lack of communication they would have to endure while Sean went through his basic training.

Jay, on the other hand, had inadvertently become entangled in a messy relationship with Mia Jones, the new girl who transferred to Degrassi from Lakehurst. How it all came to be was kind of blurry. They met at a party, got to talking, and an overly-eager-to-get-Emma-out-of-his-mind-Jay threw himself in, head first. At first all he'd wanted was some play, a little action to satisfy the need, but then Mia made it known that she had a child, and action was one of the last things on her mind.

So Jay found himself with a new girlfriend, continually dodging the offer to meet her child, and still plagued by sleepless nights filled with Emma-related dreams.

In his most recent fantasy, Jay found himself with a new roommate...Emma. And she was the greatest roommate, preparing him meals clad in nothing but lacy aprons and high heels, communal showers to conserve water, and a built-in maid, complete with a naughty uniform. But never, not once, did Jay ever even get to first base. It was all a waste of good dirty-dream time!

Try as he may, Mia was no Emma, and given that she wasn't putting out, Jay found himself unable to mesh with his new girlfriend.

"It's like you're a million miles away sometimes," Mia complained, poking Jay's arm with her bony index finger. "Where were you just now?"

Jay sighed. All she wanted to do was talk. All he wanted was some mind-blowing sex to snap him out of his dry spell and back into the reality that is usually Jay Hogart. This was not working. It had to end and soon.

"We should talk," Jay started, realizing just how much he hated this part. _Wait! I usually never make it to this part because I usually don't stick around long enough to have a 'relationship'. I gotta get out of this!_

Mia nodded, checking her watch. "Not now, okay? I have to pick up Isabelle from daycare. You wanna come over tonight? My parents are out for the night and Isabelle goes to bed just after eight. We could 'talk' then."

Was she giving him the green light for some long-awaited sack time? Jay's hopes began to rise and he smiled at Mia. "Sounds great."

Jay arrived at Mia's house just after eight o'clock that night, more than a little excited to be getting his perpetual itch scratched, even if it was by someone he wasn't entirely wanting. If Mia was offering, Jay was accepting.

"You wanna go to my room?" Mia asked, her smile giving away just what she was hinting.

Jay nodded his head, smirk in place, taking her outstretched hand, and following her to her bedroom.

"You sure about this?" Jay asked, surprising himself with his question.

But Mia was not fazed by Jay's giving her an out. She intended to take advantage of their alone time. She gripped the bottom of her shirt, pulling it over her head in one tug. Jay's eyes grew large as she revealed the swell of her perky breasts and her toned stomach. He swallowed the lump in his throat, warning his body to slow down.

They were laying on Mia's bed, everything progressing nicely, when something happened to Jay that had never happened to him before. He had an attack of conscience.

Mia went for his belt buckle, working it with her deft fingers, but Jay found himself stopping her hands, grabbing them with his own. "I think we should stop." _Who the hell said that?_

"What's wrong?" Mia asked, sitting up on her elbows, as Jay sat up completely, separating himself from her. "Are you okay?"

Jay shook his head, rubbing his face with the palms of his hands. He sighed heavily. "I just can't." _Why the hell not? _

Mia gave him a confused look, before it dawned on her. She sat up further, rubbing Jay's back. "It's okay, you know? It happens sometimes."

Jay realized what she was getting at and corrected her immediately. The last thing he wanted was to have her think he _couldn't_ when the real reason was... _What is the real truth again?_ "Ah, hold on there a second! Jay Hogart was born ready, okay? It's not that I can't. I just don't think we should. Your daughter's, like, in the next room."

Mia got off her bed and stood in front of Jay. "So? She's asleep and I thought you wanted this?"

Jay lowered his gaze to stare absently at his feet. _I thought I did too. But I can't do this! I don't want to do this! Well, I always want to do this, but..._ Realization struck Jay and his eyes grew large. _I want to do this...with someone else._

"Jay? Jay? What is up with you? You've been weird...well...the entire time we've been together! It's almost like you don't even want to be with me!" she accused. When Jay failed to say anything, she grabbed his arm, her voice getting higher as she asked, "Are you even listening to me?"

Jay looked up and saw just how angry Mia was getting. He tried to smile at her, but she simply crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot impatiently. She was obviously waiting for Jay to say something. He searched his mind for the right words, but found it harder to voice what was happening with him even more than thinking it.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" she asked.

"You're right," he confessed. She raised an eyebrow. "It's not that I don't like you. I think you're...really cool...or whatever. I just have other stuff on my mind right now."

"Other stuff or other girls?"

Jay sniffed. "A little from column A and a lot from column B."

Mia gave him a disgusted look, grabbed her shirt from the floor, and pulled it over her head. "You should leave. And one more thing...never call me again!"

Jay left Mia's house, got into his car, and found himself driving with a purpose; to finally fulfil this damn fantasy that was ruining his life!

**I know the Mia thing kind of comes out of left field, but she was really only a means to an end, so it really didn't matter who it was. I just chose her because she's familiar without being too involved. Jay can get rid of her without it affecting the main characters too much.**

**Please R&R!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my ideas...yah Jemma!!**

Emma closed the basement door behind her, taking a sip from her glass of water, as she quietly climbed the stairs to her bedroom. The last thing she needed was to wake Jack and hear her mother rag on her for keeping such late hours! She reached the cold floor, realizing that she had forgotten her slippers, and jogging to her bed. That was when she saw Jay, stretched out on top of her comforter, feet crossed at the ankles, arms thrown above his head. She let out a piercing scream.

Jay covered her mouth with his hand, knowing that Mr. Simpson catching him here, at this hour, in Emma's bed, would not be a good thing.

"Calm down, Nelson. It's just me," Jay soothed. He released his hand from Emma's mouth slowly, pointing a finger of warning at her. "If you scream, you'll just send Simpson down here all in a huff and who knows what will happen then."

Emma shoved him away. "What are you doing here? How did you get in here anyway?"

Jay turned and pointed to the window. "Magic window. I think we should talk."

Emma gave him an odd look. "It's, like, almost midnight, Jay! You wanna talk with someone, get a friend or go talk to your girlfriend or something! I should be your last choice!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" Jay held up his hands in surrender, sitting down on the edge of Emma's bed. "Look, I know it's late, but obviously not too late if you're still up. And I have no more girlfriend, mostly due to...well...mostly because of..."

"Spit it out!" Emma yelled. She rolled her eyes. "What is wrong with you?"

Jay got to his feet and suddenly noticed what Emma was wearing. He sized her up in her short, fitted boxers and tiny, tight tank. _So at least my dreams weren't lying; Emma's body is smokin'!_

"What?" Emma asked. When she realized that he was staring at her body, she gave him a disgusted look, and grabbed a sweatshirt, throwing it on over her small getup. "Why are you here?"

"I broke up with Mia."

Emma shrugged, knowing her action was mean, but really not caring. She doubted Jay was that heartbroken over this break up anyway. "And?"

"Well aren't we prickly, Greenpeace. Not a late-night person?" he teased.

She raised an eyebrow and tugged on the hem of the sweatshirt, feeling naked in front of her boyfriend's best friend. "Let's get on with it, Hogart."

Jay's brow shot up in intrigue. "Get on with what, Nelson?"

She couldn't help the sarcastic laugh that escaped her mouth, so she covered it with her hand. Jay knew she was laughing at him. Her eyes were sparkling mischievously. He smirked, walking toward her. She gave him a funny look and stepped back.

"Jay?"

He took a deep breath, wanting to close the distance between them and take her into his arms. Maybe if he could convince her for a quick roll in the hay, they could get back to hating each other and things would, once again, return to normal. Jay had to hope something would give, since his other plan had failed horribly.

"Stop whatever it is you're doing," Emma warned, backing up until she bumped into her dresser and realized that she was trapped. Jay kept moving toward her, determination written all over his face. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Jay stopped in front of her, placing both of his hands on top of the dresser, trapping Emma between his strong arms. He leaned forward until his face was within inches of her own. "What's the harm, Nelson?"

"The harm in what?" she asked, playing dumb, but knowing exactly what Jay was getting at.

He smirked. "Well let's see. I just got dumped. You're here and...alone. Ever heard the saying I scratch your back and you scratch mine?"

Emma put her two hands out, pushing on Jay's chest, but not managing to move him an inch. "I think you may have hit your head on the way over here. What on Earth would give you the idea that I would ever even consider sleeping with you?"

Jay stood his ground. "Remember that night, here, a few months ago? You and I, laying on that bed right over there," he said. For effect, he cocked his head that way. "Something was there, Nelson. I think you're just as attracted to me as I am to you."

Emma burst into hysterics, resting her head on Jay's shoulder to stop herself from laughing until it hurt. She lifted her head, meeting Jay's less-than-impressed gaze with her own lighthearted one. "You...you're...you are attracted...to...me?"

Jay flung himself away from Emma, crossing to the other side of the room. He turned back to her and glared daggers. "You think this is funny? You think it's funny? Well ha ha, Nelson! The joke's on you! You think your life's just so perfect! Got news for ya, honey, you and Seanie are so totally over and you don't even know it! You think he's gonna come back for you or something? Not likely! You're not that special!"

Emma's face fell and she lowered her chin to her chest. It was a full three minutes before she raised her head, meeting Jay's eyes. His heart took a tumble seeing tears brimming in her beautiful eyes. She sniffed and swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "That was really cruel, even for you," she whispered.

Jay felt like he'd just killed her puppy. He sighed. _How do I make this one up to her?_

Emma pushed herself off the dresser and walked over to the window. She lifted the pane of glass, holding it high above her head. "Get out," she said quietly. "And don't you ever come back."

Jay walked to the window, refusing to meet her eyes. Sure, he had said something he shouldn't, but it probably wasn't a far stretch. Sean was enjoying himself a bit too much in the armed forces. But still, it wasn't Jay's place to judge and obviously Emma was hurting over this whole thing.

Jay reached up and took the window from Emma's hand, which he intentionally grazed as the window passed hands from one to the other. Emma's tear-stained face looked into his apologetic one and something passed between the two. Jay found himself lowering the window until it was closed, shutting out the cold air that was slowing filling the already chilly basement. He gathered Emma into his arms, holding her tightly against her chest.

He felt her body begin to shake, knowing that she was sobbing. He continued to hold her, afraid if he let her go, that she would tell him to leave, and then he'd never have the chance to say he was sorry for the awful things he had said to her.

But Emma herself pulled away from Jay moments later, using the end of the overly large sweatshirt to wipe her face. When she looked up at him, her nose red, her eyes puffy, Jay felt overwhelmed by his own feelings of helplessness. "I said get out," she repeated.

"Emma," Jay tried, stepping toward her.

Emma walked toward him, straight up to his chest, standing her ground. She knew she couldn't yell, but that didn't mean she couldn't get her point across. She grit her teeth and said, "I told you to get out of my house! And don't you ever come back. Don't talk to me and don't try to seduce me and don't you dare tell me what's wrong with my relationship with Sean! You know nothing! You wouldn't know love if it smacked you full on in the face!"

Jay swallowed, looking down at the fiery beauty in front of him. "So what if I knew love, but I also knew that it was wrong?" he whispered hoarsely.

Emma eyed him closely, wondering just what he was getting at. "Don't."

"Emma."

She turned her back to him, striding away, but Jay was only sure of one thing; he wasn't about to let things between him and Emma fall away. He followed her, making sure to give her the space she needed, but still letting her know that he wasn't giving up so easily.

Jay heard Emma take in a large breath and exhale it fully. Her body turned slowly until she was face to face with Jay. "So what? So you love me now?"

Jay did the first thing that came to his mind and shrugged. "I don't know. It's just that I think about you... a lot. You're not...you're not the type of person I usually find myself...attracted to. But...I am. I'm...attracted to you...or whatever."

"Or whatever? Well isn't that reminiscent of something? Oh right! When you told me I had virtue or whatever. Wow! You really dug deep there, Hogart!"

Jay shook his head. "Forget it!"

"Forget it then!" Emma said calmly.

"It isn't supposed to be this hard anyway," Jay shrugged, walking backwards toward the window. "Later, Nelson."

Emma watched him making his way to the window, out of her room and probably out of her life. At that exact moment, Emma felt something attuned to panic; panic that she was losing something she never had, but something she needed so very badly at this moment.

Emma rarely threw caution to the wind and Jay very rarely caught it, but here they found themselves, wrapped in each other's arms, kissing each other madly.

**Did they or didn't they? Will this change things for the better or for the worse? Keep reading and I'll try to post updates quickly!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**I know that some of you expressed confusion over the last chapter. I hope this clears up some of that confusion. **

Emma awoke before her alarm, stretching her arms high above her head. She rolled to her side, coming face to face with Jay. She smiled. He looked almost child-like, curled onto his side, one arm tucked under his head. Emma sat up, stretching again, before her senses returned. Jay was still here!

She shook his body, sending him into a shocked-style of wake up that no one likes. "What?" he muttered, staring up at her.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked, checking the time. "My parents will be up any minute. You have to leave."

Jay shook his head and rolled over. "There's still time. Go back to sleep."

"Jay!" she cried. "Get up and get out!"

Jay rolled again until he was facing her. He rubbed the sleepiness from his face, giving Emma a dumbfounded look. That look turned into a smile as he reached out, grabbing her around her small waist and pulling her body down until she was tucked against him.

"Okay, this is not happening, Jay! We discussed this! Now get up and please, please, get out!" she moaned, trying to wriggle her way out of his clutches.

Jay turned her over. "So that's it then?" he asked, staring into her face, which he thought looked way too beautiful for first thing in the morning. "Thanks for last night, now get the hell out of my room? I never figured you for the love 'em and leave 'em type. Let me sleep for ten more minutes and then I'm gone, okay?"

"Not okay. If Snake, or God forbid, my mom, come down here and catch you in my bed, you're toast. And then I'm severely grounded. Do you want them to get the wrong idea?" she asked.

"Oh what? Like we're dating or something?" Jay joked. He held up his hands. "Fine. Pay the toll and Jay is bye-bye," he said, tapping his cheek playfully.

Emma leaned forward to kiss Jay's cheek, hoping it would send him on his way, but at the last second, Jay turned his head, planting Emma with another shell-shocking kiss. This one was much less passionate, but still managed to make Emma question her ways...almost.

Jay felt her pull away and held her body tightly, not wanting to leave her bed just yet. Why couldn't things ever go the way he wanted them to? Why couldn't Emma just be one of those girls who melted with one look, throwing all of their ideals and morals away for the first chance at some play? _Because that's not Emma. That's not the girl you're falling for._ Jay shook his head, hoping to get those crazy thoughts away.

"Can you please leave?" she asked, much more sincerely this time. "We have school and I have to get ready. You have to get home."

Jay smirked. "Let's save some time and get ready for school together. We can conserve water and shower together?"

Emma rolled her eyes and sat up, clutching the blankets around her to keep warm. She turned back to Jay, giving him a pleading look. "I let you spend the night, against my better judgement, but it's morning now. Go home, Jay. Go home and figure your life out and never, ever come back to my place expecting to get some action in the middle of the night again! Now...get out!"

Jay knew the gig was up, so he reluctantly got out of bed, put his shoes back on, grabbed his hat, kissed Emma on the cheek, and crawled out the window.

Back in his car, Jay drove back to his apartment deep in thought. _Well, that didn't quite turn out how I thought it would. It was so much better!_

FLASHBACK

_They reluctantly broke away from the kiss, still holding onto one another, more for support than for comfort. Jay's knees felt shaky. He rested his forehead against Emma's, taking in the scent of her perfume, realizing he loved how she smelled. Had they really just kissed?_

"_That was...unexpected," Jay said._

_Emma pulled back from Jay, narrowing her eyes. "I thought that's what you came here for?"_

"_Well yeah, but I never expected you to surrender so easily."_

_Emma nodded her head, untangling herself from Jay. "Well no one's surrendered just yet, Hogart. Let's call that a moment of insanity. But my senses have returned and so I guess we're done here."_

_Jay caught her wrist, swinging her back to him, clutching her body against his. "Just where do you think you're going?"_

_Emma shook her head. "You should go home. I'm not doing this. I can't do this. I love Sean. And despite what you say or think, Sean loves me. But beyond that, Sean trusts me. I won't betray that."_

"_You already did."_

_Emma took a deep breath. Jay saw her struggle with her infidelity and pondered on how to handle the situation. He could do one of two things; help Emma by walking away, or stay where he was and make her decide just what she really wanted to do._

"_You're right," she answered quickly, before Jay even had time to choose what he wanted to do. "I don't know why I did that. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry if I lead you on or..."_

_Jay cut her off, deciding that even he couldn't be that much of an asshole. "Hold on there. You didn't lead me on. I shouldn't have asked you to cheat on Sean. It was wrong...of me. Not many women can resist the old Hogart charm."_

_Emma smiled weakly at him, licking her dry lips. "So no hard feelings?"_

_Jay put his arm loosely around her shoulders and lead her to the bed, where he sat down and she sat next to him. "So..."_

_Emma crawled up to the head of her bed, sneaking under the covers. "So tell me, Hogart, about this break up with Mia."_

_Jay gave her an incredulous look, but before he knew what was happening, he was dishing the dirt on everything in his life, from his break up with Mia, to his recent family trauma, much to his dismay._

"_So how come you're back?" Emma asked, suppressing a yawn as she leaned back into her pillows._

_Jay, lying at the foot of the bed, rolled to his back. "Someone would have wanted me to graduate and do something better with my life."_

"_Someone?"_

_Jay stared at the ceiling, choking back tears, unable to believe he was this emotional, especially around her. Emma's foot stretched out under the covers, shaking Jay._

"_You okay?" she asked._

_He nodded his head, but refused to look at her. "My grandma."_

_Emma found herself smiling, sitting up further, but still unable to see Jay. She got out from under the covers, lying down on her stomach and peering at Jay. "You said would have. Is she okay?" Emma whispered._

_Jay squeezed his eyes shut and quietly answered, "No. She died this summer."_

_Emma saw that Jay was trying to suppress his emotions, but a lone tear had fallen out of the corner of his right eye. Emma reached out to take hold of his hand. "I'm really sorry."_

_Jay finally opened his eyes, knowing that she knew he was crying, unafraid to have her see him this vulnerable. He looked at her, holding her hand tightly. "All she ever wanted was for me to get my shit together and make something of myself. I couldn't even give her that. All I did was cause trouble and be an embarrassment for her. She had no choice but to kick me out, and it broke her heart. I'm an ass, Emma. An ass and a disappointment."_

_Emma shook her head. "No. Look what you're doing now."_

"_So what? She'll never get to see it. She died thinking that I'm a loser, just like my dad!"_

"_But you're not a loser. It took a lot for you to come back to Degrassi, especially since everyone, including me, was betting against you. But you've held in and you're doing well. That's something your grandma is very proud of."  
_

_Jay looked at Emma with curious eyes. "You think she knows?"_

_Emma smiled. "You don't?"_

"_I don't get the whole God and heaven thing. I'm not really the religious type."_

_Emma shrugged. "You don't have to believe in God to believe that people who love us and are gone can still see what's going on. I think she's somewhere thinking that her grandson is very brave and nothing even close to a disappointment."_

_Jay found himself wrapped in Emma's arms, his head on her chest, as he wept like a baby. He'd never allowed himself to do this, not even when he found out his grandma had died. But suddenly he felt safe, here with the unlikeliest of people, wrapped up in Emma Nelson's arms. No one had ever seen this side of Jay and he began to wonder why he chose to reveal this to Emma._

"_I should get going," he announced, wiping his face with the back of his hand._

_Emma stopped him from getting off the bed. "You wanna stay?" she asked shyly. He raised an eyebrow. "So you don't have to be alone?"_

_Jay smiled. "You trust me?"_

_Emma nodded, crawling back under her covers and holding them up for Jay. "I trust you completely."_

END OF FLASHBACK

Jay pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building. He turned off the car and sat there, gripping the steering wheel. He'd gone to Emma's with one thing on his mind. He'd left there with the realization that his whole world had just changed.

**Hope you like! Please R&R!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Sorry for the delay. I've been suffering from writer's block. I've been having lots of ideas for new stories, but few for this one. Hopefully I'll get back on track soon.**

Emma tried hard to avoid Jay over the next few weeks. Jay tried even harder to be a constant part of her life. He met her each morning at her locker, often walking her to class, swinging her bag over his shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And strangely enough, Emma's icy exterior began to melt, leaving her looking forward to their daily routines and Jay's merciless flirting.

Manny was dating someone new and spending every minute with him, JT and Liberty were back into their relationship full force, and even Toby had found someone to cozy up to. Emma found herself alone, and although she hated to admit it, Jay was a ray of sunshine in her usually dull days.

But Emma wasn't the only one changing. Jay found himself doing things he'd never done before; not only studying for, but participating in most of his classes, especially Chemistry. He liked answering the particularly difficult questions, flashing Emma a satisfied smile to let her know just how together he really could be. All it took was a simple upturning of her delicate lips to keep Jay focused.

"So what exactly is up with Jay lately?" Manny asked, munching on a French fry that she'd stolen from Toby's plate.

Emma flashed her a mortified look, dodging the question and taking a large bite of her cucumber and tomato sandwich. She darted her eyes from Manny to Liberty, and then back to Manny. She did not want to discuss this.

"I think it's sweet," Liberty said, her eyes glossing over. "The bad boy turns all soft and mushy for the girl he loves. It's romantic."

JT wrapped his arm around Liberty's shoulder, pulling her to his side. "Ah Liberty! Sensibility leaves her wonderful mind when confronted with romance." He and Toby shared a laugh.

"Can we please focus here!" Manny ordered. "Let's try to remember that this is Jay Hogart we're talking about and he's stalking our friend."

Emma rolled her eyes at her friend. "He's not stalking me!"

JT shrugged. "I think Jay's okay. He hasn't slammed my head into a locker all year. We worked together on a History project and he actually did some work. I don't think he's as bad as you think, Manny."

Liberty smiled up at JT, adoration on her face. "Now if we could just turn our little Emma's head in his direction, the world would be right yet again."

Emma coughed, sending a piece of her carrot Toby's way. She stifled a laugh, as Toby ducked, shooting a disgusted look her way, and tried to focus on Liberty. "Will you all just stop! Jay and I are friends and nothing more! I'm with Sean, remember?"

Emma's four friends exchanged knowing looks, annoying Emma. She gave them each dirty looks before cleaning her space and leaving the table. She walked slowly to her locker, head down, until she bumped into none other than Jay.

"Hey!" he smiled, taking her elbow to help steady her. "Where you headed to in such a hurry? I was just gonna come eat lunch with you."

Emma continued walking to her locker, ignoring Jay's proposal. He followed behind, like a dog following his master, looking for any bit of encouragement to brighten his day. Emma opened her locker, sticking her head inside, while Jay leaned on the locker beside hers.

He turned his head toward her and asked, "What did I do now?"

She finally met his eyes, seeing the humour there, and wanting to smile, but knowing she had to find a way to get him to stop thinking she was so great. "It's just that you're always around."

He stood up, straighter, showing his full height, towering over Emma. "I'm not following."

Emma shut her locker and began walking toward the girl's bathroom. She didn't turn around to see if Jay was following her, knowing that he was there, at her heels...as always. "Don't you ever have anything better to be doing than following me around school every day?"

"I thought we were friends," he said.

Emma stopped walking, turning to stare at Jay. The comment, so innocent and straightforward, threw her for a loop. She didn't want him to hate her. "We are," she sighed. "It's just that some people are getting the wrong idea about us. I just don't want something to get misunderstood and for people to start thinking we're more...than just friends."

Jay sniffed, telling himself to be cool. _Don't let her see the truth, Hogart. She's not ready to know yet. Just frost this one over and bide your time._

"Sorry to be cramping your style, Greenpeace. 'Nough said," he shrugged, backing away.

"Jay," Emma called.

He raised a hand, shook his head, and turned to walk away.

**I know it's short, but the next chapter more than makes up for it!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I own nothing Degrassi...**

"So she turned you down. You're surprised?"

Jay shot Alex an icy glare, flopping onto her couch. All he wanted to do was pout the next few months of school away...and find some way, any way, to not see Emma.

Alex rested a hand on Jay's shoulder. She gave him a shove. "Man up, Hogart! So what if Little Miss Environmental doesn't like you! It's not like she's the be all and end all. Plenty more fish in the sea! So get your pole and start reeling!"

Jay gave her a incredulous look before bursting into laughter. "What's with the fishing analogy? Do I look like the fishing type of guy?"

Alex shared in his laughter, sliding her earring into the hole in her right ear. "This whole Jay being depressed thing is really freaking me out, okay? I have no idea how to deal with you lately."

Jay sighed, watching Alex stoop to put on some shoes that looked relatively new. He cocked an eyebrow. "Big date with Carla?"

Alex looked up, surprise on her face. "You don't know about the party?"

"Party? What party?" he asked.

"Um...well there's a party tonight...at...Emma's," Alex stammered.

Jay got to his feet. "Emma's having a party?"

"Or maybe Manny's throwing it. I don't know. I was passed a note in English. Carla's picking me up and we're going. You can hang out here, though. Chad might be home later or something," Alex offered.

Jay walked to the door. "No thanks. I think I'll just go home and chill."

Alex watched Jay walk out the door and sighed, knowing that Jay was planning to attend the party, meaning chaos was sure to occur.

Jay drove back to his apartment, heading straight for the shower. He took record time getting ready, only pausing long enough to debate just what he should wear. Choosing his signature jeans and t-shirt, Jay grabbed his black hat and flew out the door.

He didn't bother ringing the doorbell when he got to Emma's, realizing the party was already in full swing. He turned the knob on the front door, entering the noisy, crowded house inconspicuously. He walked though the living room, heading to the kitchen, keeping his eyes open for Emma, but not seeing her anywhere.

"Who the hell invited you?" Manny asked, coming up to him, drink in hand, cleavage in his face.

Jay checked out the generous proportions Manny's body offered, smirking at her while he did so. "Santos. If you wanted a private party, you should have a doorman. Where's Nelson?"

"Staying away from you," Manny answered, pointing a finger in Jay's face. "I mean it, Hogart. Stay away from Emma. The whole purpose of this party is for Emma to have fun. No stress and no drama, okay?"

Jay held his hands up in surrender. "Drama free, Santos. Just wanted to say hi."

Liberty approached the two, smiling at Jay over the rim of her cup. "Jay!" she squealed. "I am so glad that you came! Emma will be too! Have you talked to her yet?"

Jay chuckled, noticing the slight slur in Liberty's speech and recognizing the onset of inebriation. He tossed a casual arm around her shoulders. "Libs! How's the alcohol treating you?"

Liberty smiled. "So far so good. So? Have you talked to Emma?"

Jay removed his arm from Liberty's shoulder, shoving JT as he approached. JT smiled, knowing that this was Jay's idea of being friendly. "I was going to, but her keeper over here told me to stay away. I'm gonna go get a drink."

"Liberty!" Manny shouted at her friend when Jay had left. "What are you doing?"

Liberty shrugged. "Emma likes him. He likes her. What's the problem?"

JT shook his head at Manny, warning her that in Liberty's present condition, arguing would be futile. He guided his girlfriend to the now empty couch, sitting her down and hoping to slow down the intake of alcohol.

Jay got his drink and took another tour of the house, ending up back in the living room, staring at Emma dancing rather cozily with some unknown guy. Jay leaned against the wall, sipping his drink and watching Emma. She was laughing, enjoying herself as she swayed her lean hips in time to the music. And as the songs changed, and the dancing continued, Jay felt himself getting more and more uncomfortable. He shifted his position often, but never once removed his eyes from Emma. Just what the hell did she think she was doing?

When the song finally ended, a lull came as someone changed up the CD. Jay didn't even realize what he was doing, as he handed his cup to a stunned Toby and headed over to Emma and the mystery guy.

"Hey," Jay said, breaking into the couple's space. "We should talk."

Emma looked at Jay like he was crazy before turning her back to him, giving her full attention back to her dance partner. Jay took her by the shoulders, drawing her away. He looked at the guy, gave him a fake smile, and said, "She's done here. You can go."

"Hey!" Emma shouted. "We were dancing."

"No. You were letting him put his dirty hands all over you. Now, it's over."

Jay gave the other guy a stern look, a warning that he wasn't messing around. He looked back at Emma, whose easygoing attitude was changing into one of stubbornness. "Who do you think you are?"

The guy, sensing that this was going to turn ugly very quickly, left the area, shaking his head and wondering why he even bothered. Emma looked around and saw him leave, smacking Jay on the arm.

"That was Damien!" she yelled.

"I don't care if his name is Jesus! He shouldn't have had his hands all over you like that!" Jay defended.

Emma sighed. She shook her head, pulling Jay closer to her and pointing toward the door. There stood Damien, holding onto Manny closely. "He's Manny's boyfriend!"

Jay suddenly felt stupid. He realized that he must have looked just as stupid. He wasn't defending Emma's honour. He was making an ass out of himself...as usual.

"Sorry," he whispered, embarrassment hitting him full on. "I just thought..."

"I know what you thought. That's not the point! The point is that you have no right to come in here and make that judgement. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself."

Jay shrugged, moving to walk away from another argument that he knew he couldn't win. That's when he felt Emma's hand on his arm. He turned back to her and she smiled.

"Well you chased my partner away. The least you can do is take his place," she suggested innocently.

When Jay faltered, getting ready to tell Emma that he wasn't really the dancing type of guy, Emma grabbed his arms and put them around her waist. She wrapped her own arms around his shoulders, pulling him tightly into her body. Jay closed his eyes, willing his body to gain some control and not give his attraction away.

FLASHBACK

"_Jay! Jay! Wake up, Jay!" came her singsong voice._

_Jay's eyes fluttered open, revealing Emma, leaning over him, her full breasts inches from his face. She was clad in a lacy negligee, the likes of which Jay had never seen. He smiled up at her as she leaned forward, planting a small kiss on his cheek._

"_You fell asleep last night before we had a chance to do that one thing I told you I've been dying to do with you," she teased._

_He smirked widely. "Well there's no time like the present."_

"_Really?" she asked excitedly. _

_Jay nodded his head, but frowned when Emma hopped out of the bed and flew to the stereo. She put a CD into the player and pressed PLAY. Turning back to Jay, she smiled. Jay sat up further, staring, mouth agape, as Emma walked toward him, each step causing the negligee to reveal more skin. Jay swallowed._

"_Get up, Hogart," she ordered huskily._

_Jay got out of the bed, standing in his bedroom, clad only in his boxers. He strode toward her as she came toward him, the two meeting in the middle. Jay went to kiss her, but Emma pulled away._

"_Not yet, Hogart. Put your arms around me and try to keep up," she told him._

_Jay gave her a curious look, before realizing that she wanted to dance with him. They wrapped themselves in each other's arms, holding onto the other tightly as they swayed in time to the music. As Emma's body pressed more firmly into his own, Jay felt his body ignite. He leaned his head closer to Emma's, parting his lips..._

END OF FLASHBACK

Now, here, dancing with Emma, Jay was reminded of his unfulfilled dream from nights ago. He closed his eyes, burying his head into Emma's hair and inhaling deeply. She smelled so good; flowery like the innocence she exuded, but spicy like the passion she ignited in him. Did she have any idea what she did to him?

"Not such a bad dancer, Hogart," Emma complimented. "Have you been practising?"

"Only in my dreams," Jay answered honestly.

Emma leaned back and gave him an odd look. "You say some of the weirdest things, you know that?"

Jay smirked. "You do that to me."

Emma's face became serious. "Don't say things like that."

"Okay, Greenpeace. Have it your way," he conceded.

They continued to dance, their bodies melting into each other perfectly. Jay just wanted to be alone with her, to talk... _Okay, okay! Even I know that's not exactly what I want from her._

"You wanna go somewhere?" he finally asked, having the courage to at least put it out there. "To...um...talk?"

Emma smiled up at him. "Talk, huh? Is that really what you want?"

Jay's eyes squinted. "Have you been drinking?"

Emma shrugged. "Are you complaining?"

"Not if you're implying what I think you're implying."

"Then let's blow this pop stand!" Emma laughed, taking Jay's hand and leading him off the dance floor. Jay followed her, as she opened the door to the basement, dragging him down the stairs. He shut the door behind him, taking a moment to lock it from the inside before going down.

"Are you sure about this?" Jay asked, fearing that Emma was doing this because of the alcohol. "I mean, you have been drinking."

Emma strolled over to him, a goofy smile plastered onto her face. "Are you looking for a way out, Hogart?"

"Hell no!"

"Then stop asking stupid questions. You kissed me once and left me breathless. Let's see if you can do it again."

That was all the convincing Jay needed. He crashed his lips onto hers, tasting her sweetness fully, as his tongue plunged into her mouth. She met his challenge, wrestling his tongue with her own. _So this is what it's like! Well worth the wait!_

They continued kissing each other as they made their way to Emma's bed, crashing down onto it, removing clothing as they experienced the excitement of first kisses and touches; skin on skin, hearts beating crazily, butterflies fluttering in stomachs.

Jay was clad only in boxers, Emma only in her intimates, with their bodies pressed so close together they were almost joined. Jay kept kissing Emma, as if he couldn't get enough, as he grabbed his pants from the bed, searching through his pockets for protection. He pulled away reluctantly to rip open the package with his teeth, spitting the plastic out of his mouth and onto the floor.

But sometimes all it takes is a moment to bring one's senses back. As Jay was frantically trying to safely prepare for this experience, Emma was realizing just what she was getting herself into. She swallowed and struggled to sit up. Jay froze, seeing that something was going on with Emma. His hands stilled as panic set in.

"I can't," she whispered.

Jay's face fell. "You gotta be kidding me! NO!"

Emma pushed him off of her, getting to her feet. "It's not right."

"Tease!" Jay accused, yelling at her.

"I am not a tease!"

"Oh yes you are! You can't take it this far and then back down and not be expected to be called a tease!" he shouted. "Now get the hell back over here so we can finish what we started!"

Emma backed away, seeing the look of determination on Jay's flushed face. "I can't do this to Sean. I can't cheat on him."

Jay threw his hands down to his sides roughly, like a child in the midst of a temper tantrum. He grabbed one of Emma's pillows and threw it across the room. If the situation hadn't been so dire, it would have been funny. Emma watched Jay, his anger boiling over, as he muttered curse words to himself.

Emma hadn't been paying attention to his rambling until she heard him say, "It's not like Sean's away being all faithful or anything!"

Emma stepped toward the bed, stilling Jay's hands. "What did you just say?"

Jay's face became serious. "Nothing."

"You said something about Sean."

"No I didn't," Jay denied, shaking his head.

"Do you know something about Sean?"

Jay continued to shake his head, looking away from Emma as he did so.

"Why won't you look at me?"

Jay turned back to her and sized her up. "My body's on fire here, Nelson. You standing there in that getup is doing nothing to cool me off, if you know what I mean."

Emma realized that she had nothing on but her underwear. She grabbed Jay's shirt and threw it on over her head, pulling it down the length of her body. "Now tell me! Tell me what you said!"

"I said that Sean's not exactly being all faithful to you!" Jay screamed.

"You're a pathetic liar who'll say anything to get what you want!" Emma accused.

Jay got off the bed, pulling his pants with him. He slipped them on, his body somewhat less turned on now that he and Emma were obviously not going to be doing this. He looked at Emma, wearing his shirt, and thought she looked perfect. All he wanted was to be with her, but every time he thought they were close, she shot him down.

"Well?" she pushed.

"Well what?" he asked, annoyance in his voice. "You can think what you want. I don't care anymore!"

"Sean would not cheat on me!"

Jay rolled his eyes. "Maybe he shouldn't, but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't."

Emma flopped down onto the floor, crossing her bare legs under her. She began to mutter to herself, much like Jay had been doing earlier. "He wouldn't do that. He loves me. How could he do that? No! No! He just wouldn't."

Jay joined her on the floor. "I'm sorry."

She looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears. Jay was just about to gather her into his arms and hold her, when her face changed suddenly. She took him off guard when she pushed against his chest as hard as she could. Jay toppled over, giving her a look that read 'You must be crazy!'.

"You! You! You say that you're my friend? You should have told me!" she yelled.

Jay gave her an incredulous look. "This is my fault?"

"You should have told me!"

Jay threw his hands into the air, begging for patience. "He's my best friend, Emma! How could I betray him by telling you! I was caught in the middle! It wasn't my place!"

"You are disgusting! Get out of my house!" she spat.

Jay shook his head, getting to his feet. Emma also got to her feet. Jay turned to her, grabbed the hem of his shirt and ripped it over Emma's head. She stood there, shock on her face. He pulled the shirt over his head and walked to the stairs. Emma, having put on her own clothes in record time, was hot on his heels, as if making sure he really left. He turned, causing Emma to bump into his chest.

"You are the most judgemental, irritating bitch I've ever met!" he said calmly. "I have done everything to try and prove to you that I'm worthy, and you still find a way to turn me away! And you wanna know why Sean would cheat on you?"

Emma's hand met the side of Jay's face with a loud smacking sound. Jay's eyes narrowed as he grabbed both of her wrists. He saw fear, but also challenge flash in her eyes.

"Watch what you do, little girl," he warned. "I've handled my temper, but I'll only be pushed so far."

"Oh and what are you gonna do? Huh? Hit me?"

Jay smirked. He leaned into her, his voice lowering, but remaining controlled. "I would love to smack you right now, but even I have my limits. Besides, you're so not worth it!"

Emma's mouth hung open. She stepped around Jay, heading up the stairs. She didn't even turn around as she said, "I thought I could trust you. But you're just like all the rest. The second you don't get what you want, you lash out. I had faith in you, Jay. Thanks for ruining that."

**Hope you like! Please review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, especially the JT storyline...**

Jay stood at the bottom of the wooden stairs, gritting his teeth. She had this way of getting under his skin to the point that he wanted to hit her, and then in another breath, she could bring him to his knees with simple, honest words. It only took him a few seconds to realize that his knees would be pretty sore if he didn't get up those stairs and make things right with Emma.

He climbed the stairs two at a time, bumping into Liberty just outside of the basement door.

"Sorry," he mumbled, taking Liberty by the shoulders to steady her. "Have you seen Emma?"

Liberty was much too worried to even notice Jay's dishevelled appearance. She looked up at Jay, her eyes wide and panic stricken. "I need you to go find JT."

Jay shook his head. "Sorry, Libs, but I gotta find Emma."

Liberty grabbed onto Jay, her desperation evident in her actions. "He was arguing with that Johnny guy. The one from Lakehurst. He said something to Toby and JT tried to step in. But my man's a lover, not a fighter. I'm just worried since he went to his car to get a CD so long ago. Please? Can you go find him and make sure he's okay?

Jay sighed. "Fine. But if you see Emma, tell her that I'll be right back and not to leave, okay?"

Jay left the house, assured that Liberty would make sure Emma stayed put so he could work things out with her. She was all he thought about as he searched the street, trying to see if JT and his big mouth had gotten him into some trouble that he couldn't get himself out of. But there was no sign of him anywhere.

Just as Jay was about to enter the house from the rear, he spotted JT's car in the lane behind Emma's. He peered around a tree in the backyard, squinting his eyes against the dark. It was then that he heard a moan.

Jay suddenly got the feeling that something wasn't right, as he slowly walked toward JT's car. He swallowed his panic, seeing JT leaning against the driver's side of the car.

"JT? You okay? A bit too much to drink?" Jay asked, bending to one knee in front of JT.

It was then that Jay knew just how serious the situation really was. JT had blood on his shirt and was struggling to breath.

"Where are you bleeding, man?" Jay asked, frantically flipping his cell phone open and dialling 911. JT was not responding. The 911 operator came on the line. "I need an ambulance..."

Two hours later, Jay sat on Emma's couch, the house now empty and silent except for the ticking of an annoying clock on the living room wall. With each tick, Jay worried that this night was going to get a whole lot worse if Emma didn't show up soon. He wanted to hop into his car, to go look for her, but then realized that he had to be here...to give Emma the news.

Jay rubbed his eyes and sighed. He heard the front door squeak open and flew to the entry, eyes large.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked dryly.

It was then that they both noticed just how awful the other looked. Emma's eyes were red and puffy, evidence of the crying she had done while away. Her shoulders were slumped with defeat and if Jay's thoughts weren't preoccupied with other, more serious matters, he would have been concerned.

Emma's eyes flew to Jay's shirt, smeared with something red. "Is that blood?"

"Come into the living room," he ordered. He saw Emma hesitate and raise an eyebrow. His voice softened as he asked, "Please?"

Emma sighed with fatigue, but she followed Jay into her cluttered living room, dreading tomorrow's cleanup. Jay sat down on the couch, beckoning for her to join him. She sat, but on the opposite side, wanting to avoid another situation like they had found themselves in earlier this evening.

Jay leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees, rubbing his hands together. "There's something I need to tell you, Emma."

"I probably don't want to hear it," she replied.

"I'm sure you don't."

Emma raised her eyes, looking at Jay. He looked like he'd been crying. Was that even possible? "Why is there blood on your shirt? Were you in a fight?"

Jay shook his head, finally meeting her eyes. "JT was."

Emma's eyes widened. "Is he okay?"

Jay sniffed and Emma could have sworn she saw his eyes mist over. Panic set in as Jay came closer to her, but still said nothing.

"Jay?" she pushed. "Is JT okay?"

Jay shook his head slowly, reaching out and taking Emma into his arms. "He was stabbed, Emma."

Emma freed herself from Jay's embrace, getting to her feet. "He's in the hospital? I want to go see him."

Jay stood up, slowly straightening his body until it reached its full height. "He's not in the hospital, Em. I don't know how to say this..."

Tears gathered in Emma's eyes as she saw Jay's sad face and his own tears seeping from his eyes. "No," she whispered. "Don't you tell me that he's..."

Her voice trailed off, unable to even utter the words. Jay knew that her legs were about to give out on her. He caught her before she hit the ground, gathering her delicate frame in his muscular arms, bringing both of them to the floor, where they clung to each other, sobbing through their misery.

Jay had no idea how long they stayed like that, tangled up on Emma's dirty living room floor, weeping for their friend. All he knew was that he hadn't felt this helpless since he'd lost his grandmother. It was hard to believe that only moments before he had held JT's body as it slipped away. JT. Jay had ridden him pretty hard in the beginning. Then he'd nearly gotten him killed with the whole drug thing. But this year he'd actually started to like the kid, having shared many laughs with him. JT was in fact a lot like Jay; both were natural jokers, never wanting to face stark reality, instead covering it over with their own unique brands of humour.

"Liberty!" Emma suddenly exclaimed.

Jay pulled away slightly. "She went to the hospital with Toby and Manny. They're all together."

Emma put her hand on Jay's chest, gingerly touching the blood. "How? Why?"

"I found him," Jay said quietly.

Emma's face distorted into one of pain. "Are you...are you...okay?"

Jay swiped the back of his hand across his eyes, muttering, "Not even close. You?"

"JT and I have been friends since elementary school. He was the first boy I ever kissed," she smiled, remembering the day it had happened.

"You kissed JT?" Jay questioned, not a hint of humour in his voice.

Emma nodded her head, blond hair bouncing. "We were in the fifth grade. Manny, Toby, JT and I were watching movies at Toby's place. Someone brought up the subject of kissing. No one had ever done it, so we drew names to see who had to kiss who. JT pulled my name. I can't believe he's...he's gone."

"Last week, JT and I skipped History class and actually went to the Dot for cheeseburgers and milkshakes. It was cool, hanging out with him. We talked about stuff and joked and whatever. I don't exactly do well with friends. But JT...I guess you could say that he and I were..."

Emma saw how much Jay was struggling to get his words out. "Friends? I think JT thought that way too."

"I don't care how long it takes. I'll find the dude who did this and annihilate him," Jay vowed.

"Don't say that. We have enough to go through dealing with losing JT. We don't need to lose you too."

Jay stared at her, too immersed in his grief to let it register that Emma did care enough about him not to want him dead or in jail.

The front door squeaked and their eyes flew to the entry. Manny stood there, tears streaming down her face. When she saw Emma, she flew into her arms, causing Emma to begin her crying spree anew.

Jay stayed long enough to make sure the two girls were not only okay, but also safe. When the dawn was upon them, and both girls had finally decided to try for some rest, Jay quietly went about the house with a black garbage bag, throwing away plastic drink cups. He moved furniture back into place and straightened picture frames before leaving the house.

Tidying up Emma's house still didn't make him feel any better. Without even realizing just how he'd gotten there, Jay was at his apartment building. This night had started out filled with so much potential, but had ended wrought with nothing but pain. No matter how long it would take, or how hard it would be, Jay had to find a way to be with Emma. JT would have wanted him to take care of the first girl he'd ever kissed.

**Please R&R!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

Emma and Manny sat on the floor of Liberty's bedroom, their black dresses pulled up, legs stretched out in front of them. No one knew what to say first, so all three remained silent. Emma's tears fell quietly down her face, dropping onto her lap in a wet pool. Manny openly sobbed, unable to control her grief. Liberty stared straight ahead, her eyes dry. She had cried so much over the past few days that her tear ducts had almost dried up; there was just no more tears to cry.

"I really like that picture," Emma finally commented, pointing at the framed photograph of JT and Liberty.

Liberty was sitting between JT's legs, and the smiles on both of their faces said it all; they were perfectly happy just being together. Emma sighed, thinking about how long it had been since she and Sean had been carefree in their relationship.

Liberty smiled slightly. "We had just gotten back together. JT kept hamming it up for the camera, you know, like he always does whenever anyone wants to take his picture. Danny was getting so frustrated. And then all of a sudden JT looked down at me, told me he loved me and to look at the camera. And that's how we got the best picture we've ever taken. Or will ever take, I guess."

Emma wrapped her arm around Liberty's shoulder, bringing her friend close to her side. She searched for something to say that would make Liberty feel better, but she just couldn't find the words. She herself felt horrible. How could she possibly expect Liberty to feel any better when she'd just buried the love of her life.

"I'm sorry that Sean couldn't come home," Liberty said, straightening her body to look at Emma.

Emma smiled and shrugged slightly. "He wanted to, but unless it's a family member, they won't release him. Or so he says. I don't know. I only talked to him for a minute or two. But that's not important right now."

Liberty flashed Manny a look, but it went unnoticed by the tearful Manny. She turned her attention back to Emma. "Please, Emma. Anything to take my mind off of JT is fine, really. In fact, it's actually needed. So tell me, how is Sean enjoying his whole army experience?"

"Probably a little more than he should be," Emma answered. She sighed. "I didn't get the chance to question him about it, but Jay says that he's got a little something going on...with someone else."

"And you believe Jay?" Manny asked, scepticism present in her voice.

"Why wouldn't she?" Liberty joined in.

Manny cocked an eyebrow. "Because it's Jay Hogart! Because he's just itching to get into Emma's pants! I could go on."

Liberty shook her head. She focused on Emma. "Jay wouldn't lie to you about something like that. He cares about you too much."

Emma could see the differing opinions of her two friends for exactly what they were. Manny hated Jay, pure and simple. Liberty's sensibility was clouded by her romantic feelings; she wanted to believe the best in Jay. But the only person who could decide, was Emma. And the truth was, Emma wasn't sure how she felt about all of this.

On the one hand, there was Sean. Sean. Emma's first love. The one guy Emma had allowed herself to fall head over heels for. But Sean was anything but perfect. When things didn't go Sean's way, he could blow a gasket! Or cheat? Emma shook her head. She just wasn't sure.

And on the other hand, there was Jay. Jay. Emma's first real enemy. The one guy that knew how to get under Emma's skin more than anyone else. He wasn't perfect, but he had made changes in his life over the past few months. But could he lie to get what he wanted from Emma? She just wasn't sure.

"Earth to Emma!" called Manny, smiling as she shoved Emma. "Liberty asked you a question."

"Huh?"

"I asked how you feel about Jay?" Liberty repeated. "Do you like him?"

"Do we have to talk about this?"

Manny and Liberty exchanged looks. Even though Manny didn't care for Jay, she wanted to know the answer to this question just as much as Liberty. "Yes, we do. Now just answer the question."

Emma sighed. "We're friends."

"So were you friends at the party? You know, when you two were locked up in your basement together?"

Emma gave Manny a dirty look. "Nothing happened...exactly."

"What does that mean?" Liberty questioned.

"Okay, okay! Jay and I made out a little bit. But that's all. We made out and then he told me Sean was cheating on me. End of story."

"Okay, rewind! What exactly happened?" Manny asked.

Emma sighed heavily. "Okay, fine! So Jay and I were making out, but I stopped because I remembered that I love Sean and cheating on him isn't right. Jay threw a fit and told me Sean was cheating on me. I got mad, called him a liar, and left."

Liberty and Manny seemed lost in thought. Manny finally spoke. "So Jay got mad because you didn't want to make out anymore? Are you sure all you were doing was making out? What were you wearing?"

Emma rolled her eyes, but muttered, "My underwear."

Liberty laughed, the first time since before JT's death. "You were at the point of no return and you said no, right?"

Emma nodded. "I let things go too far, but Jay had no right to say what he said."

"Even if he was telling the truth?" Liberty suggested.

Emma pursed her lips tightly. Maybe not. And he had let it slip accidentally. He could have told her a lot earlier in the evening if it was all about getting her in the sack. Maybe Jay was just trying to protect her from getting hurt. Maybe he was just trying to be a good friend to Sean by keeping his secret. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Liberty snapped her fingers in front of Emma's face, snapping her out of her reverie. "Remember when I got pregnant?"

Manny's mouth dropped open. They rarely talked about Liberty's pregnancy or the baby she and JT had chosen to give up for adoption. Emma and Manny nodded, stunned by the sudden turn in topics.

"I was so angry at JT for getting me pregnant, that instead of leaning on the man I loved, I turned him away. And it took us way too long to find our ways back to each other. It seems like just when we were able to work things out, JT was gone. I spent so much time hiding from my true feelings, I missed out on a lot of great moments with the person I loved."

Emma pulled Liberty to her side yet again, hugging her fiercely. "At least you and JT patched things up. And he knew you loved him. He knew."

Liberty shook her head. "You're missing the point, Emma. Just because you think you should be with Sean, doesn't mean that you should. Just because Jay's not the obvious choice, doesn't mean he isn't a choice at all. If you like Jay, I mean really like him, don't waste time over the incidentals. Take it from someone who knows. Time goes by way too quickly. Go after what you really want, deep down. Everything else will take care of itself."

Emma smiled at her friend, knowing that Liberty only had her best interests at heart. Even Manny remained silent, pondering what Liberty had just revealed. Maybe Emma did like Jay. But did she like him enough to risk her relationship with Sean?

**And of course, the inevitable cliffhanger! What will Emma decide?**


	16. Chapter 16

"Didn't expect to see you here," Jay commented, opening the door to his apartment further, allowing Emma entrance.

She turned around just inside the door. "I got in my car and drove. I somehow ended up here."

"Just my luck I guess," he smirked.

They walked together into Jay's living room, Jay sitting in his leather recliner, Emma on the second hand couch. Neither said a word, but Jay stared at Emma, expectation hanging in the air. Emma took her time, trying to get her thoughts sorted out so they would flow in a logical manner. The last thing she wanted to do was to further confuse Jay. She'd come here to get a few things straight, not to send everything up in the air yet again.

"So, um, I know that we haven't really spoken in a while," she started.

"I've been busy with school and work. You've been doing some heavy damage control with Liberty. That's life," he said, shrugging it off.

Emma nodded her head in agreement. "Liberty's doing much better though."

"I saw her in school the other day. She looks good, I guess. So, um, do you."

Emma felt her cheeks heat up and hated that such a small compliment, coming from Jay, made her blush. But he was staring out the window, and not at her, so she felt secure that he hadn't seen her reaction. She took a deep breath. "I thought that after everything that had happened, we should talk. I know that with JT and all... Well it's just been too long I guess."

"Too long?" Jay asked, eyebrow raising.

"Since we've talked. You've been avoiding me and in Chemistry you barely even look my way. So I take it that you're mad at me?"

Jay shrugged. "I didn't want to put any pressure on you...until you were ready."

"What's all this really about, Jay? I need to know."

"All what?"

Emma gave Jay an exasperated look. "This. Whatever is going on between you and I."

"You know where I stand."

"No, I don't," she answered honestly. "You've never really told me."

"You're gonna make me say it, Nelson?" She nodded and he bit into his bottom lip. "Fine! I like you, or whatever. I think that if you just loosened up a bit, you'd see that you like me too."

Emma smiled, unable to help her reaction. "You like me?" she teased.

Jay shot her a look that warned her to stop. "Enough, Nelson. Ball's in your court. How are you gonna play it?"

"I called Sean and told him to do whatever he had to do to come back to town. He's coming back in two weeks," she blurted out quickly before losing her nerve.

Jay's face fell. "So that's it then. Sean's back and I'm out. No hard feelings, okay?"

Emma got to her feet and walked over to where Jay was sitting. She sat down quickly on his lap before losing her nerve. "I wanted to talk to him in person. So that I can tell him I want to break up."

Jay's arms came around Emma's waist as his smile grew. He hugged her to him, unable to believe that the moment had finally arrived; Emma was going to be his!

She pulled back and stared at him. She frowned. "I didn't say that it was to be with you."

Jay removed his arms, giving her body a slight shove until she fell onto the floor. She stared up at him in disbelief. "I can't believe you just did that!"

Jay shrugged. "I don't take well to being teased."

"I'll remember that for next time," she smiled, getting to her feet. She grabbed Jay's hand and tugged him to his feet.

"So we're really gonna do this?" he asked, bending his head to sneak a kiss.

She stepped back. "In two weeks. After I talk to Sean."

Jay stepped forward, looming over her. "I can't wait two weeks."

Emma smiled as she continued to back away from Jay, lust filling his hungry eyes. She put her hands in front of her chest, warding off Jay's advances. "Two weeks, Hogart, and that's my final offer."

Jay stopped and appeared to be thinking it over. "Two weeks, huh? Fine. But I need a little something to tide me over."

Emma smiled and stepped forward. "I could agree to those terms."

Jay smiled, thinking about how long two weeks seemed. This kiss would have to be something if it was gonna take him two whole weeks! He leaned forward, about to place his lips on Emma's.

She placed a finger on his waiting lips. "You kissed me twice and left me breathless. Wanna try for a triple header?"

Jay, always up for a challenge, bent his head, kissing Emma with everything he had. _Breathless? How about speechless, Nelson?_

**Hope you liked it! I had a hard time getting this story out, especially in the end. Thanks so much for the great reviews! Hope I didn't disappoint. **

**My next story is called Think You're Too Good? Think Again! Emma and Jay have a 'casual' relationship. Jay wants more. Emma thinks she can do better. But when Jay decides to move on, how will Emma take the news that she's no longer Jay's one and only?**

**Kisses, **

**Kerr**


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